Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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