i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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