BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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