Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
