Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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