ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Someone signed my nipple.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
