I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
