well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize