man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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