Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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