I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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