I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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