where am i from again
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
