Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize