your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
