I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
