just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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