We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
