glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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