he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
