did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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