i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
