New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize