I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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