it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
