I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My breasts were aching with rage.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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