does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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