I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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