and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
