So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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