3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
