At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
did i walk over a car last night?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
