Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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