i just wanna soil my oats bro
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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