I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
