i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
