Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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