Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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