dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
