nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
