I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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