nut hugger
it was like eating out sand paper
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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