i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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