Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
