Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
