I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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