I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
