508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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