hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
