HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
