I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
