Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
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