i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
