I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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