ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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