um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize