What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
