I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
