is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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