His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
