Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
